The One Adventure He Could Never Have
by DuskyRaven
Summary: Post 'The Satan Pit' but this time round the Doctor never found the TARDIS. Now Rose and the Doctor are flying away from the Impossible Planet and facing an uncertain future. How will the Doctor live a settled life? Will he have to? Where will Rose fit in
1. Prologue

A/N. This is my first fanfic so concrit is so so so welcome :) If anyone fancies being a beta for me then cool! I'm not exactly 'new' to the site, being a lurker for as long as I have been, but I've never uploaded anything before so please review with any comments that you reckon I need.

This was just a story that has been bobbing around in my head for a while, so i thought why not actually do something about it! Lol. Anyhoo, I really hope you like it, and if not, why not tell me why:-) --DR.

Disclaimer: Oh if only I owned Doctor Who, but sadly no.

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The One Adventure He Could Never Have.

Prologue:

It didn't feel real. Like something she heard once in a story about someone she didn't know. She felt disconnected somehow, as if she were watching what was happening from a great distance. But then there was someone else who mirrored her in thought and feeling. She looked to her left and there he was. The Doctor, her Doctor. The man who took her to the edge of the universe and showed her the stars. There he sat, real as she was, as solid as she and yet not quite there. It was as if he was physically present, but emotionally absent. In that moment he didn't exist, but then again, neither did she.

An impossible story that took place on an impossible planet. An impossible outcome that went past the unthinkable.

But there they were. Flying away from that impossible place and towards an unknowable future.

Before, the unknowable adventures had always seemed safe because the Doctor and his magnificent machine were constant and undefeatable. But now that the man had been separated from that extraodinary box, the future was suddenly unpredictable, lonely and foreboding.

They sat together, the Doctor and his Rose, in that escape ship, flying far away from Hell and into Purgatory without the ship he called the TARDIS.

It had seemed that the Doctor always knew the events of the future, but for all his wondrous knowledge he had not seen this, could not predict, would not even contemplate. But there they were and ahead of them lay a new kind of life and new adventures together, always together. For who was the Doctor without his Rose? But then again, who would the Doctor be without his ship that could fly through space and time? And who is Rose now? An outsider in this time without her family or familiar surroundings. The only constant now is that they have each other. Nothing else of any consequence.


	2. Chapter 1 Flight

A/N. First chappy and prologue uploaded at the same time to give you guys an indication of where I'm going with this. Hope it makes sense, please review so i know what i'm doing lol. DR.

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything Doctor Who (except for a couple posters, dvds and action cards) and I doubt I ever will le sigh

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**Chapter One: Flight.**

Rose was asleep and dreaming. The events of the recent past replaying in her head.

The Doctor and Ida had come back up the shaft in the elevator, screaming over the com to hold the ship because they were coming, running full pelt through the corridors and sections leading to the docking station where the emergency ship was, seconds away from leaving. Rose, who had been pointing a bolt-gun at Zach and yelling at him not to leave without them had cried with relief as she heard the Doctors voice. "Doctor!" She yelled into the com.

"Didn't think I was going to leave you, did you?" The Doctor said, out of breath from running, sounding tinny through the small speakers.

"You had me going for a minute there! Get down here now!" She cried happily, a tear of relief running down her grinning face.

"On our way!" She heard him say as she collapsed back into her seat, lowering the bolt gun. Zachery exchanged an incredulous look with Danny before flicking some pre-flight switches to ready the ship for take-off. The ground beneath them rumbled and shook threateningly, but it was not this that caused Rose to scream just then, she was struggling to shake off the tight grip on her arm and then someone shouted her name, "Rose!" and she was brought back to the present with a start. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was as she took in her surroundings.

"Rose?" The Doctor repeated, gently shaking her arm, the expression on his face showing concern and something else, a deep sadness looking out at her through warm brown eyes.

"I'm okay. Dreaming, i guess." She replied slowly, sounding exhausted. She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair as it all came back to her. The ood, the desperate escape through the station, the Pit and it's devil, Toby...

"We'll be there soon, according to Captain Zach." The Doctor announced, feigning a cheerfulness that didn't quite reach his eyes. It was the kind of cheerfulness that was more painful to watch than unveiled saddness, but Rose didn't mention it. It was one thing to feel despair, but quite another thing to talk about it and voice the insecurities.

"Already?" Rose joked. The flight back to Earth had taken weeks, more than enough time to dwell on their situation. The TARDIS was lost and with it, any hope of getting back to Rose's time.

Over the course of the weeks, she and the Doctor had barely spoken, neither one of them knowing what to say. He had once told her he was sorry for bringing her to that planet, and although he never said the words again, Rose could see them every time he looked at her. But Rose did not blame him, or hold any grudge against him. He had taken her to the furthest reaches of her imagination and now that she was stranded in the future she could still be grateful; She was alive and she was with him, her Doctor. No matter what happened, she always felt she could be happy and safe with him. It wouldn't be so bad. _"Everyone leaves home in the end."_ She had said while they were still on the station. A life with the Doctor, it was what she wanted and now it seemed set in stone. One way or another they would get through this and learn to live.

"Please, Doctor, tell me this is going to be okay." She could not help the pleading tone that crept into her voice as she looked at him.

The Doctor seemed to take a deep breathe before turning to her and saying, "'Course it will be! It'll be one hell of an adventure, eh?" He said, flashing her one of his wide grins, except this one seemed on the verge of breaking. "Mind you though," he said, suddenly thoughtful, "we'll have to go native. Oh bloody hell, I'm going to turn domestic!" He cried out, causing Ida to look up at them both from her chair and giving them a small smile.

Rose couldn't help but giggle at his distress about turning 'domestic'. Somehow it didn't seem right that the Doctor should have to settle in one place. She'd watched him over the weeks, noting how he constantly seemed to be elsewhere, perhaps going over the past events, or perhaps even trying to concoct plans to get the both of them out of this. It was as if a part of him had been removed, like he was lopsided, somehow. But gradually, as if rising up out of sleep, he seemed to become more engaged in the present, helping Zach with the ship, talking animatedly with Ida about this and that, even joking around with Danny. And although he stayed mainly by Rose's side, he didn't interact with her like he did the others. Rose felt that she understood, that the Doctor felt guilty about stranding her here in this time, but as she told him, she wouldn't have missed it for the world.

"I think turning domestic is the least of our worries at the moment," she giggled, "what are we gonna do when we land?" She asked, trying to keep the mood light, but noticed how a shadow passed over the Doctors face and she was immediately sobered.

What _were_ they going to do?


	3. Chapter 2: Home

A/N: Heya all, I'm really sorry this has taken such a long time to come. My excuse is that since i last wrote I've had 5 essays to write for uni and when I wasn't writing those, i was catching up on sleep! It's been brutal but now I'm on reading week so hopefully I can be a bit more regular with writing.

Anyway, i really enjoyed writing this chappy as it gave me quite a lot of licence to use my imagination about all that sparkly futuristic stuff (lol) so I hope you enjoy reading it!

As ever, reviews are muchly appreciated:) -DR.

Disclaimer: Still getting round the copyrights and legal jargon so i still don't own doctor who. Or the theory of relativity, mind you.

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**Chapter 3: Home.**

_**Rose**_

Whenever Rose had been asked in science class which of the planets was her favourite, she would always loyally say "Earth." in a matter-of-fact tone. To which her teachers would always sigh and try to get her to appreciate the other planets by saying, "well yes, but thats not very adventurous is it? Why not Venus or Jupiter? Anything more...interesting? Earths just...Earth!" Rose would always then grin and say "yeah but I love it!"

No matter where Rose had gone with the Doctor, she would always make comparisons with the Earth and not once did she come across a planet she would rather have lived on.

"Barcelona may have dogs with no noses, but Earth has tea and ham sandwiches and y'know, it's home." She once said when the Doctor had asked her the same question that her science teachers had once asked her.

But now that she looked out of the window and looked down on the planet that had been her home she couldn't help but feel that she was very far away from home than she'd ever been before. It all looked so...busy and suddenly bigger than she'd ever thought before. She could see the mega cities but she could recognise nothing of the Earth she'd known. But what she felt wasn't dread or fear of her new life, the best that she could liken her feelings to were loss. It was the first time that Rose had ever had to confront something that felt like death. She had been to the day the Earth had died, she had nearly died herself more than once but this was the first time that she ever had to actually accept that the world she knew so well was long gone.

Rose sighed and wiped a stray tear away from her cheek.

"Are you ok?" Said a voice behind her. "You sorta get used to space, y'know? Being back home almost doesn't feel like being home no more." Said the voice again. Rose turned round to face Zach and gave him a weak smile.

"Yeah but it's still home isn't it?" She said, more for herself than Zach. He returned her weak smile and looked down at the floor.

"Look, i was thinking; you an the Doctor ain't got nowhere to live, right? I mean, this is all new to you, yeah?" Zach shuffled about awkwardly, seemingly not knowing the words to say. "I was thinking that maybe you two could stay at mine." He looked up at her "y'know, just till you get sorted out, yeah? It's not permanent but-" he broke off suddenly and looked back at the floor. "you two saved our lives back on the planet, and I'm never gonna forget that. You stay as long as you need to. My doors always open to you two."

Rose was touched. She hadn't given much thought to where she and the Doctor were going to stay. Now she came to think about it, she couldn't explain why she hadn't thought about it. She could only conclude that instead of planning for the future, she was too preoccupied with the past, that until recently, had been her present.

She smiled genuinely at Zach and enveloped him into a gentle hug. "Thank you." She whispered into his ear. To his credit Zach looked abashed and embarrassed, but he appreciated the sincerity all the same.

Rose walked through to the back of the ship to find the Doctor to tell the news. Things between them were still somewhat strained. It wasn't awkward, as such, but Rose could see the guilt looking out at her from his eyes every time he looked at her, and somehow she couldn't seem to take that. The Doctor was in so much pain that she felt she couldn't stand the intensity of his emotions so they did all but avoid each other for the sake of sanity.

She found him leaning over some kind of generator with Ada standing close by saying something about log books and Rose tenderly poked her head round the door and 'ahemed' quietly, not wanting to interrupt but thinking it best to get it over with.

Ada and the Doctor looked up at the same time and the faces of both became clouded; Ada's with sympathy and the Doctors with the familiar look of a guilty person trying to act innocent and pliant.

They stood about awkwardly for a few seconds and Rose was grateful when Ada gently excused herself so to give the two of them a minute alone.

Rose walked into the space that Ada had previously occupied and shoved her hands into her back pockets.

"Zach is letting us stay with him for a while. Y'know, just till we sort ourselves out." She said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.

The Doctor's mouth formed a silent 'oh' and he took his glasses off to rub the lenses on his shirt.

"Well thats good isn't it?" He said as he concentrated on his glasses.

"Guess that means we won't have to march down to the interplanetary bank conglomerate and explain our non-entities and ask for a mortgage anytime soon eh?" He said as light-hearted as possible and even trying to crack a grin but fell short.

"yeah, well, it's a start, yeah?" Rose attempted.

She wished he would stop putting on a front. She just wished that he would get it all out, shout if he needed to, anything but this fake cheerfulness that tore at her heart more than his sullen silences

"_Y'see that big blue marble? Thats home that is. The best place in the universe."_

Rose had said as a child when asked to point out the Earth on a picture of the solar system.

But as Rose looked down on that 'big blue marble' as they approached ever closer she wondered if it was home anymore.


	4. Chapter 3 The things you lose

A/N. I felt bad about not updating all week which is why I've uploaded this chappy and 5 together. Hope this makes it up :)

This chapter is where I feel that the story is really starting to open up more so I hope that I'm doing peoples expectations justice and if not, why not tell me how and why:)

Thank you loads to all the people who have added this story to their alerts and favourites and squishies to all those who have added me to their favourite author list. I'm muchly flattered and I hope that this story unfolds to your liking. For the minute though, I hope you like this installment.

-DR.

P.S. Apologies for calling Ida 'Ada' in the last chappy. Call it an absence of thought. Sorry if anyone got a wee bit confused. :-s

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who and I have nothing to do with spacecraft or anything funky like that.

**Chapter 4: The things you lose, and the ones you gain.**

_**The Doctor:**_

The Doctor had done a lot of things in his many lifetimes. It would be near-to impossible to try and recount them all but suffice to say that he knew a lot about a lot and had seen a lot of what was to be seen. But the thing was that there were some experiences and sights that he had steered clear of for a long time. The domestics, for example. He may have had a family of his own at one time but that didn't mean he was the kind of man who can settle down easily. Especially not in a crisis and his current situation was something he classed as a 'crisis'. Equally though, it was a situation he had no control over and this new life of domesticity became a larger set of chains for him to bear.

The Doctor believed he had two options:

1.struggle against his enforced status and achieve little. Oh yes, it may be possible to build a time manipulator, but to what end? It wasn't the same thing as the TARDIS and a little toy like that could never emulate the home he had until recently been next to symbiotic with.

He could blend with the crowd, become just like everyone else. Go to work, go home, watch t.v and eat chips. There was a chance he could find happiness in that settled life. After all, it was still an adventure, just a different kind.

And he would have his Rose.

Every time he stopped to think about their situation the Doctor was consumed by guilt for the life he had condemned Rose to. He could live with what he had condemned himself to, but Rose didn't deserve this. He fervently wished again and again that he taken the tremble of the TARDIS seriously and left the Impossible Planet right then and there.

'Still, nothing to be done about it now', the Doctor thought to himself as he wandered towards the front of the ship. They would be docking soon, Zach had called the Interstellar docking port a few minutes ago and they had been cleared for re-entry and setting down in the reclaimed country of New New Jersey, which as it happens is about 7 miles off the coast of Great Britain and had been named after the island of Jersey.

"So why did they call it New New Jersey then?" asked Rose as she appeared at his elbow suddenly.

"Ah, well, they named it in honour of Jersey in the Channel Islands who were occupied during World War 5, and WWII, come to think of it. Funny thing really, somehow these super villains get it into their heads that by invading and occupying the offshore islands they will somehow manage to win the war." He said cheerfully as ever.

"So what, is it a country or an island then?" Asked Rose with interest.

"A country. Quite a large one actually. But it's a scale replica of the original Jersey, authentic shaping of the bays as well as well as replica castles." The Doctor paused. "Come to think of it, I don't think Jersey the 1st was too pleased about that, said that tourists were going to the bigger one instead of the original one. Difficult to please, those islanders. Name a reclaimed country after them in recognition of the part they played in the war, you'd think they be a bit pleased." The Doctor commented thoughtfully.

"Riiiight. Well what I was gonna say was that Zach said to sit down cos we're about to break atmosphere." Rose said matter-of-factly."

"Ah. Right, well, better get strapped in hadn't we?" The Doctor smiled and held his arm out, indicating like a gentleman that Rose should go ahead of him. Rose giggled and stepped in front of him and sitting herself down in one of the chairs in the cockpit, securely strapping the safety belt across herself as the Doctor followed suit.

"Right," said Zach from the captains chair, "here we go ladies and gents, Earth incoming, angle of descent on course, velocity stable, dampeners functioning at normal capacity, thermal turbulence nominal."

Danny was at the co-pilots chair flicking switches and talking to the space port of New New Jersey. Ida simply sat and looked straight ahead, seemingly thinking.

Rose turned and said to the Doctor, "Is this gonna be hard? Cos y'know in the movies it always looks really difficult and bumpy and dangerous and stuff."

The Doctor couldn't help but laugh slightly at her concerned face. "Nah, that was buckets of time ago. These days it's more or less a smooth ride-" the Doctor swallowed his words as the ship jolted sharply and Rose gave him a 'you were saying?' look.

"I did say 'more or less'." He said sheepishly.

The next jolt to rock the ship was a big one and without thinking Rose grabbed the Doctor's hand and squeezed. He looked across at her, her eyes were shut tight and he smiled. Before he knew what he was doing his was stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. Rose opened her eyes and looked across at him and smiled as they shared a moment where all kinds of possible futures played out in their minds, futures where they would be together. The Doctor squeezed her hand back.

But even though the moment was over and both were looking ahead at the ever-closer earth, neither one let go of the others hand. Inwardly both rejoiced. It felt as though, finally, the tension between them had eased. Now it was Rose and the Doctor, as it ever had been, till the end.

The Doctor laid his head back and closed his eyes briefly. Yes, he still felt as though he could never recover from the loss of his TARDIS and the guilt of dragging Rose into this mess, but at the same time-for the first time-he felt a twinge of unexpected excitement at the adventure that was awaiting the both of them.

He felt that if he couldn't have his TARDIS he could still have Rose, and that, he thought, was more than a fair exchange. One that he would willingly make any day or anytime.


	5. Chapter 4 Through the looking glass

A/N. I'm going to Brighton tomorrow for the weekend to see Darren Hayes at the barfly (scream!!) so i won't be able to upload anything until probably mid next week. Hopefully this will tide you over till then.

Again, thank you to everyone who has added me or this story (or both!:) to their favorites list. I'd say it has tickled me pink, but then I'd have to admit to using a phrase like that ;)

- DR.

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, the idea of flying vehicles or anything remotely cool like that.

**Chapter 5: Through the looking glass.**

"Welcome to planet Earth." The Doctor said quietly to Rose as they stepped out of the tunnel that had taken them out of the docking station and into the fresh air of New New Jersey.

The pair were still holding hands, they had barely separated since they had first held each others on the ship.

The scene that met them was beautiful, if somewhat overwhelming. They were in New St.Helier, the capitol of N.N.J and everything around them seemed to be moving at top speeds, even the things that were perfectly stationary.

The first thing that caught Rose's eye was the huge silver building across the street from where they were standing. It was easily twice as tall as the Empire State building and connected to a building next to it that was at least 300ft taller than than it's neighbour. They seemed to have enclosed bridges connecting them at intervals of 10 floors or so as Rose could see people crossing the lowest bridges. Beyond those buildings Rose could see others of varying heights and designs. Some of the structures were oddly shaped, she thought. Most people Rose knew thought the Gherkin in London was an odd shape, but the Gherkin was nothing in comparison to the buildings she saw here in front of her. One that she saw was shaped like an 'n'. But an 'n' that was about the same size as Canary Wharf. There were hovering vehicles shooting past them at intervals, some looked like buses, others like taxis and other still like regular cars.

"How come all those flying car thingies look like cars and buses from my time then?" Rose asked.

"Same companies make them. Couple hundred years ago they looked like you probably expect futuristic cars to look like, all silver and compact, but recently the people decided that the old models and colours were a lot more exciting and 'new', so it all sort of turned full circle. Like flares making a comeback." The Doctor said with a smile.

"They still have public transport then?" Rose said laughing as she saw a man across the street running for a bus they'd just seen flying past.

"Oh yes." The Doctor replied. "Marvelous thing, public transport, and there'll always be a need for it. Your flying Renault breaks down, what do you do?" The Doctor asked jovially.

"Scrounge together enough money for the bus and leg it down the street." Rose finished for him and laughed as she saw the man across the street give up and sit down on a bench in a huff.

"Right then chaps, this is it I reckon." Came a voice from behind them.

Turning round they saw Zach, Ida and Danny emerging from the tunnel from the station.

"Where will you all go, what will you do?" Asked Rose sadly. She had really begun to enjoy spending time with the crew. They were always friendly to her and the Doctor and after a while she had felt like on the crew on the way home after a mission. She would miss them.

"I'm going home." Ida said. "I think I should spend some time with my family, get my fathers input on my mission report before i send it in." Ida said this last with a tone that suggested this reunion was a long time coming and that by asking for her fathers opinion was by way of asking for his respect.

Rose wished her luck, she recognised that Ida had some personal issues she needed to work out with her family.

"I'm gonna go see my friend from back home." Danny said. "He got married a few months ago and seeing as I missed out on the stag do then I'm throwing him another one." He said with a glint in his eye. "But he lives really close to Zach so I'll probably be seeing you sooner than you think." Danny said, winking at Rose, making her blush.

"Well you ought to know what I'm doing as you're coming with me." Said Zach matter-of-fact.

No one said anything for a while. They all stood about somewhat awkwardly as nothing sprang to mind that could sum up what they had been through together, what they had seen, what they had sacrificed and the bond they now all shared. Who knew when the would all be together again like this?

But finally Zach broke the silence. "Right, come on then you two, got a train to catch." As the three of them made to walk off down the street, Danny grabbed Zach's arm suddenly and said, "It's been an honour captain." And raising his hand he saluted Zach.

"Oi, thats enough of that, c'mere." And Zach grabbed Danny in what Rose called a 'man-hug', one of those hugs that starts out sincerely, but ends up with awkward slaps on the back and quickly stepping back from each other.

"You too Ida." Zach said, motioning for her to come over.

"Oh well! Thats enough of all that, thank you very much!" The Doctor suddenly cried out in indignation just as Ida and Zach were mid-hug.

"If I thought that we'd be excluded in a round of hugging I would have stayed on the ship!" He cried out in mock anger.

"Over you come then ya big girls blouse." Said Zach laughingly as he pulled Rose and the Doctor into what had become a circle-hug-thing where no one got a proper hug but instead ended hugging someones arm or having their face pressed against an ear. But it was sincere and heart-felt all the same and Rose felt her heart swell in love for these people.

But a couple of hours later and 70-odd miles away, Rose could think of little else except what the hell was gonna happen in the long run when the Doctor saw that the pair of them had to share a double bed.


	6. Chapter 5 Whats your charm got to

A/N. Hey folks, i cannot believe how long it's been since i last updated and for that I'm really sorry. I got really busy and then I guess i forgot. If somethings not being smacked against my face I will keep forgetting to do it lol. For that I'm sorry, but fear not! I've whacked this file onto my desktop so every time i turn on my lappy i will be reminded that i need to write more. Hopefully I'll update about twice a week. Anyhoo, thanks to all you lovely, lovely shiny people that have added this story, me or both to their favourites list! Cookies for all! I really hope you guys enjoy this one, but as always if not (or maybe even if you do!) feel free to leave feedback!

Disclaimer: I do not own doctor who and if i did i sure as anything wouldn't be sitting on my bed at quarter to two in the morning writing about him. ;-)

**Chapter 6: What's Charm Got To Do With It?**

"Ah, yeah." Said Zach, stopping short in the door as he looked at the double bed in front of them. "Thats not gonna be a problem is it? Y'know, cos you an' the doctor aren't-"

"No, no, it's fine. I'm sure it's gonna be fine." Rose interrupted him before Zach could become even more uncomfortable.

"It's the only spare room I have y'see and well, i never thought..cos i don't really have guests round except mates after a bender." Zach stuttered and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Who's on a bender then?" Asked the Doctor jovially as he joined them. And then he saw the bed. "Ah." He said.

"Yeah, I said it would be fine." Said Rose, unconsciously bitting her bottom lip.

"Course it is!" Cried the doctor to alleviate the sudden awkwardness that had fallen. "Me and Rose will manage, been in tighter spots that this!" He said grinning

"Right then", said Zach, "I've leave you to settle in while I go make a few calls. Back in a bit." Zach left the two of them alone to quietly ponder their situation.

"Shot-gun the window side!" Rose said suddenly.

"Ah no! I like a view in the morning!" The Doctor cried out in indignation.

"Tough", Rose said, "Thats the rules of shot-gun, you snooze you lose!" She said grinning, her tongue between her teeth.

"Oh alright but don't you dare take up all the wardrobe space or we're gonna have a problem." He said pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Take it up with what? All the clothes I conveniently took out the TARDIS in case we got stranded? If you hadn't noticed, you and I have been wearing the same clothes for weeks now. It's a miracle they're not falling to bits!" Rose said, picking at the hem of her t-shirt wistfully, seemingly deciding it wasn't worth the effort and instead folded her arms.

The doctor just looked at her for a few seconds, meeting her unwavering gaze steadily.

"Oh alright, alright, just...just stop with the look", he said suddenly, throwing his arms up, "We'll go shopping! But on no conditions are you spending any more time than is ABSOLUTELY necessary buying clothes and ONLY because I er...mumble" The doctors voice faded off into thin air suddenly as he looked away and scratched his nose.

"What was that, doctor?" Rose asked, leaning forward.

"I er, need some...mumble" He broke off again, this time looking at his feet while shuffling.

"No doctor, i can't hear you. What was that again?" Asked an amused Rose. This ought to be good.

"I need some PANTS! Alright!? PANTS!" The doctor suddenly cried out.

"D'ya want me to ring the news stations and tell them, because I don't think they quite heard you mate." Said Zach suddenly as he passed the door in the corridor.

Rose bit her lip to keep from laughing, but as she caught sight of the dismay on the doctors face at Zach's words she couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Ah ha! Doctors kacks have disintegrated from over-use!" Laughed Rose as she pointed at him.

"Yes yes, alright. And while we're on the subject, how're yours doing? Eh?" Asked the doctor cheekily.

"Alright, you've made ya point. Necessary shopping only. Mind you though, d'ya reckon I'm a gazillionaire now?" She asked thoughtfully.

"Why would you be a gazillionaire?" The doctor asked, confused.

"Well cos I had about 70 quid in my bank account all those squiggles of years ago, won't i have gained loads on interest?" She said as she made her way out of the bedroom and into the corridor.

"Nah", said the doctor, "they'll have closed the account aaaages ago." The doctor sniffed.

"Guess that means you're gonna be flash with the cash today then." Rose pointed out. "Mind you, makes a change. D'ya remember the first time we went home and you were too skint to buy us a bag of chips?" She said, lightly shoving him.

"Yeah." He said. "And you called me a bad date." He said, lightly shoving her back.

**2 Hours later...**

"Rose, please, no more. I promise you, my incredibly brilliant squiggly brain is melting. Honestly, i think i can feel it pouring out of my ears, can you see it?" The doctor moaned, wiggling his finger in his ear to check for liquid brain matter.

"Shut ya face will ya? D'ya know how hard it is to keep up with the latest fashions when you've been gone for centuries?" She grumbled as she picked a red jacket off the rack and held it next to a pair of black trousers.

The doctor had picked out all his clothes about an hour ago. Rose had even managed to convince him to get some dark blue jeans, but he doubted he would wear them so he made sure to grab a few pairs of wool trousers, a few shirts, ties and jackets. And a new coat... And some new pants.

But Rose was still trying to figure out if she could get away with wearing blue jeans and a green top. Apparently it was all about "facing the word looking like you belong in it", or so she had said. She had said that an hour ago.

"Rose, I'm begging you. Begging. I will leave, honestly I will. I will leave you picking out clothes while i go...somewhere not here...somewhere with no clothes." He finished, looking slightly puzzled.

"Send us a postcard then." Rose simply said, not even bothering to turn around as she added yet another top to her ever expanding pile.

The shop assistant had been eyeballing them for a while now. Probably she thought that they were just mucking about, given that Rose had pretty much stripped an entire section bare. The doctor gave her an apologetic smile in the hopes she wouldn't get too suspicious later when it came to 'pay'.

"Alright! Thats it!" The doctor suddenly declared. "No more. None, absolutely no more!" He cried, grabbing Rose's pile of clothing and lugging it over to the till with not a small amount of obvious effort.

The shop assistant looked at the pile with a bemused look and then shot a sympathetic smile to the doctor as Rose wandered over.

"Coulda just said you were getting bored." Rose grumbled, bringing over a few more items, including something that looked like a radish.

"What is that?" The doctor asked, pointing to the suspicious looking item as the shop assistant began running the clothes through the till.

"Dunno really, "said Rose, turning it over in her hand, "I think it's a necklace. Thought I'd take it for a test drive."

"In what?" The doctor asked, "A stew?" He said. The assistant sniggered but Rose only shrugged. "If it comes to it." She said simply, looking up at him from underneath her eyelashes, one side of her mouth turning up in a smile.

The doctor, feeling suddenly flustered cleared his throat and looked over in amazement as he saw the bill that was being racked up on the till even though the assistant wasn't even half-way through.

Suddenly, something quite sparkly caught his eye. He made to pick it up in order to make a jokey comment about Rose's idea of 'futuristic' clothes and how she thought everyone should be wearing tinfoil, but when he had the whole item revealed he suddenly dropped it in shock.

"Ah." he said, embarrassed. He'd picked up a bra and seemed unable to form a sentence or take his eyes off of it. It was a very pretty bra as it happened- black with little silver stars.

"I have the matching pants to go with it if you'd like to inspect those as well." Said Rose jokingly.

The assistant again sniggered as she took the bra, ran it through and bagged it.

The pair stood in silence for the next few minutes as the woman ran the rest of the assorted bits and pieces through the till.

Finally it was over and further silence ensued as the final amount rang up.

"£3467 please, if you could just enter you're account number and pin in the machine." The assistant said with a polite look on her face. It was plain, however, that she was waiting to see if the doctor would falter and ask her to take a few pieces off.

Instead the doctor pointed behind the woman's shoulder and said, "And one of those, err, gift cards please." When the womans back was turned to reach for the gift card the doctor quickly whipped out his sonic screwdriver and buzzed it over the account machine on the counter and then just as quickly he hid the screwdriver just as she turned back around.

"Actually I don't think we'll bother, do you Rose? Zach probably wouldn't appreciate it properly anyway." The doctor said quickly. Rose said nothing.

The machine beeped that the transaction had gone through and the doctor smiled politely at the assistant who seemed to think that something strange had just occurred but that she couldn't put her finger on it. But then she handed over the bags anyway and the doctor could almost see the mental shrug that indicated that she didn't much care. Either way the amount had been paid and she wasn't paid to care how.

With their 8 bags of clothes the doctor and Rose made their way out of the shop and into the street back to Zach's apartment.

"You realise that with your sonic screwdriver and my charm, we could live like kings." Rose said with a happy smile on her face.

"Whats your charm got to do with it?" The doctor said with a grin.

"And anyway, can't keep doing that, against the law you know, manipulating digital funds. We've got to get jobs."

Rose stopped short while the doctor carried on walking.

"Jobs? What kind of jobs?" She asked after him. The doctor didn't stop or turn around.

Rose ran to catch up. "Doctor! What jobs?"

--


	7. Chapter 6 All things past

A/N. Here there folks. This chapter gets a bit angsty so feel free to grab tissues and make sure that you're not disturbed. I know personally that if i'm reading something angsty, nothing irritates me more than something distracting me and breaking the mood, so take all necessary precautions.

With that in mind i'll leave you to enjoy the latest installment. As always, reviews are welcomed ;-)

Oh yeah, also if you're one of those people that need a soundtrack, i recommend either Athlete-Wires, Jimmy Eat World-My sundown or The Fray-How to save a life- to read this next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't, never have, prolly never will own Doctor Who or any affiliates blah blah blah.

**Chapter 7. All things past.**

"Jobs? You two?" Zach asked incredulously.

"Yes us two. Why, what's wrong with us?" The doctor asked, looking across at Rose who had sprawled herself over the sofa in Zach's living room.

"No, nothing. I mean there's no getting around the fact that you're useful in a pinch. But whatcha gonna do? Be professional day-savers?" He asked jokingly.

"Could do. It's become sorta a habit for us two." Said Rose said nochelently, flipping through a magazine, not bothering to look up.

"Nah, too flashy." The doctor said, wrinkling his nose. "I was thinking something more 'down to earth'. I could...be a teacher. I'm good at that y'know." He said quickly, with just the tiniest hint of smugness as he rocked himself on the balls off his feet.

"And Rose, she's useful to." The doctor looked over at Rose who still hadn't bothered to look up from her magazine.

"Rose could work in a-"

"If you say shop I'm gonna kill ya." Rose said loudly, interrupting the doctor mid-flow, but still not looking up from her magazine.

The doctor cleared his throat. "Nope, wasn't going to say that."

"Course not", said Rose who had stood up and walked over to where Zach and the doctor were standing with a determined look on her face. "Because, y'know, I can do other things. I've got crucial skills and...stuff."

The doctor glanced over at Zach who caught his eye. Then looking over at Rose he also caught the mutinous glare she was throwing his way, daring him to disagree. Zach held up his hands in surrender. "Hey", he said, "leave me out of this. All I know is that youse two saved our arses up there and thats gotta take some skill. You do whatever you wanna do, yeah?"

**1 Hour later...**

"As my mum always said, theres no shame in working in a shop." Rose finally said in defeat.

Rose and the doctor had been looking through the classifieds trying to find jobs. So far the doctor had come across half a dozen jobs he would be suited for, including teaching quantum physics to post-graduates in a nearby university, lab supervisor specializing in faster-than-light travel research and development and a history professor at a private secondary school. Rose had yet to come across anything that she could realistically do, considering that this times technology was alien to her and she had no area of expertise.

"I'll tell you what though", Rose said suddenly, looking over the doctors shoulders at the screen in front of him that currently displayed a 'wanted' sign for research into alien artifacts, "couldn't you just input a career history for me and say that i do have this and that qualifications?" She asked, referring to the fact that minutes ago the doctor had said he would fabricate lives for them onto the mainframe that stored information on everyone in the world. The doctor had seemed a bit grumpy about having to do that actually. He had said something about how Time-Lords shouldn't have to write a C.V. Rose had said that was because he'd been too busy swanning around the universe to need one.

"Anyway." The doctor said suddenly. "Best get on filing these details off to our future employees." He said with a grin as he waggled his eyebrows at Rose who just laughed at him and said, "it's alright for you! You get to do something interesting. I get to put up with customers and shelves and boxes and things. God, it's like i never left home." She muttered and picked her fingernails.

"Gotta earn a living somehow." The doctor said.

"Yeah yeah, i know." Rose grumbled, sighing half-heartedly as the doctor sent their details out to the various human resource departments.

**1 Week Later.**

Rose was miserable. She hated her new job with such a passion that she felt it was an extreme effort to keep a smile plastered on her face whenever she had to talk to customers. She had gotten a job in a clothes shop as a 'retail assistant', meaning that she got to tidy the clothes racks, put new stock out and manage the till, which thankfully wasn't too 'futuristic' that she had any trouble learning how to use it.

Still, she was absolutely miserable. It was only a 10 minute walk away from Zach's apartment but every step felt like the last leg in a marathon for her. It wasn't the work she resented so much, the people she worked with were nice enough and she wasn't treated badly, but it was more the point that to suddenly come so far to fall so hard was taking it's toll.

Not so long ago she was traveling across the stars and seeing things that she could never have imagined. But now she was back on Earth and working in a shop again. The worst part of it all was that it felt so permanent-this new life. The future seemed to stretch out in front of her, a monotonous road filled with boring work without her family or friends in a world she barely recognised in a time where she felt completely useless.

She had seen and done so much and yet here she was: Rose Tyler, shop girl. No longer 'defender of the Earth'.

The doctor seemed happy enough. He had taken the job at the lab, over-looking the research on faster-than-light travel. He liked to boast that he couldn't help too much because the human race needed to develop at it's own pace, 'without some Time Lord coming in and speeding up the process', he liked to say.

Rose got back to the flat to find nobody in. Zach was staying at his girlfriend's house and the doctor hadn't finished work yet.

She made herself a cup of tea as she pottered around the flat, absently running her fingertips over surfaces as she went.

Without thinking, she went into the room that she and the doctor shared and dug through her drawer until she found what she was looking for. Her mobile phone. So many times she had wanted to phone her mum, just to hear Jackie's voice. Rose even missed the sound of her mum yelling at her to get out of bed, or to make her a cuppa. But she never phoned her. Rose never knew what she could say to her mum, to explain that she would never come home again. She wouldn't understand, she would scream and blame the doctor and worst of all she would cry and Rose knew in her heart that she could never stand to hear her mum cry that she would never go home, never be able to hold her in her arms again, never just be able to sit down in front of the telly, have a cup of tea and share chips and just chat about their days.

Or Mickey. How could she face talking to him after everything they had been through together? Mickey, who had never given up on her, never given up hope that she would come home to him and that they'd pick up where they'd left off.

No. She couldn't talk to them. Because then it would all be real. Everything, all this, this new life. Even more than their grief Rose knew she couldn't stand the grief her own heart felt.

Inside Rose was screaming, inside her heart was breaking. Even when she'd traveled to the end of the world she'd known that she would always be able to go back but here she knew that she couldn't. How could she tell her mum and Mickey that fact when she still couldn't believe it herself?

A single tear fell onto the screen of the Nokia phone in her hands. Rose had to put her cup down on the nightstand as her shoulders shook from the over-whelming grief her heart felt, the first time since losing the TARDIS that she had allowed herself to break. But now that she had let down her barriers for that one split second, she found that she could no longer control it. Balling her hands into fists she let out an agonized cry as she felt the tears flowing down her face. Crumpling, she fell to the floor on her knees and sobbed.

She cried for all the people she had left behind. She cried for the life she had traded for the doctor and his magnificent machine, she cried for lose of that wonderful life and the one she now had to live. She cried for the fact that she could not even bring herself to tell her mum that she was never coming home. Her heart broke for all those missed moments back home she would never see again, all those potential events she would never know.

Rose felt as if her heart was breaking apart in her chest as she struggled to breathe through the pain. She couldn't see or feel anything around her, couldn't focus on anything except the debilitating pain that wrenched through her body.

Until suddenly, she felt herself being scooped up into arms that now surrounded her, arms that rocked her gently, over and over again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She heard the doctor's voice distantly, as if it were coming from a long way away

"Oh god Rose, i'm so sorry." The doctor's voice cracked as he gently rocked her back and forth. But she couldn't respond, couldn't do anything to stop the flow of emotion that poured out of her without end.

They stayed like that, the doctor and his Rose. What seemed like minutes translated into hours. Eventually Rose stopped crying and instead was silent. She had surrendered all her weight onto the doctor who just held her in his arms without breaking. Neither one of them spoke a word the entire time, for what could either one say that could possibly make this better?

"I'm so sorry." The doctor eventually whispered, his lips pressed against Rose's head as he gently stroked her hair. For the first time in hours, Rose lifted her head and faced the doctor. The pain she saw in his eyes mirrored her own but it was the anguish of his guilt that she saw most profoundly.

Gently she reached her hand up and cupped his cheek. The doctor closed his eyes as if savoring the contact and from under his closed lids, a single tear ran down his face. Opening his eyes, he looked at her and again she saw the grief that she felt in her heart.

They were so close then, the air seemed charged around them, unspoken feelings and words seemed to drift around them as they sat there together. Slowly, Rose moved her face closer to the doctors, her lips hovering so close, as if she were waiting for his permission. Almost without warning the doctor pressed his lips to hers so gently she could barely feel him and then suddenly his hands were in her hair and he pressed his lips on hers needfully. Rose responded fully, breathlessly, her pain turning into something else that she couldn't name. All other thoughts vanished from her head as the doctor kissed her with such need.

Suddenly, the doctor pulled back and looked at her, his eyes wide.

"I'm sorry." Was all he said before he quickly stood up and nearly ran from the room.

Rose stayed where she was on the floor until she heard the door to the flat slam. Then Rose lowered herself back down where she lay, crying.


	8. Chapter 8 Sorry seems to be

**Chapter 8. Sorry seems to be the hardest word.**

"Rose!" Someone called. Rose felt herself being shaken. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up into the face that was hovering above her own.

"God, girl! You scared the bleedin' daylights out of me! Whatcha doin' down here on the floor? I thought you was dead!" Zach said, concern etched in his features as he helped maneuver Rose into a sitting position.

"I was sleeping." Rose said groggily as she rubbed her eyes which were covered in sleep dust and dried tears.

"Yeah well you picked an odd place to have a nap!" Zach said, now kneeling next to her.

"Where's the doctor, then? Asleep on the other side of the bed?" He said jokingly.

"What time is it?" Said Rose, running her hands through her hair.

"About 2 in the morning. Where's the doctor?" Zach asked again, this time more firmly, no longer joking.

"I dunno. He left." Rose said thickly, swallowing past the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Left? Left to go where? Have you two had a fight or something?" Zach said quietly.

Rose didn't answer. Instead she pulled herself to her feet slowly, every muscle in her body aching from hours spent crying and lying stiffly on the floor. But she didn't mind because it took her mind off the pain she felt inside.

"Right." Said Zach. "Well I'm sure he'll be back in his own time. Maybe he just needed to cool off, or to think or something." He said. "D'ya want a cup of tea or something?" He asked.

Rose just shook her head as she sat down on the edge of the bed, idly scratching her arm.

"Right, well I'll be going to bed then, yeah? If you need anything just give us a shout." Zach said, standing up and moving towards the door.

"Yeah." Rose simply said. Zach gave her a small smile and closed the door as he left the room.

Sighing, Rose got up and moved across to the dresser to get out some pajamas and changed quietly, dreading the day that would begin in a mere 6 hours. More work and another day towards the grand total they had spent away from home.

But as Rose lay in bed a few minutes later, she found she wasn't sleepy. She was tired mentally but her body seemed wide awake.

It had all gone wrong, none of this was supposed to happen, the doctor had said so. They weren't supposed to be trapped in the future so very far away from home and with no life-line.

'Life-line'... two words Rose had never really considered the meaning of before and as she turned them over in her mind she realised that she didn't consider the TARDIS her life-line. It was the doctor that had kept her grounded and safe. Even when he'd barely been able to look at her as they traveled away from the black-hole Rose had always known he would be there in an instant if she had needed him. But somehow it had changed and Rose began to think that maybe it was the other way around.

The doctor had been alone for so long, carrying the guilt of his past on his shoulders like Atlas had bore the weight of the world.

The look on the doctor's face as he had stumbled away from her hours ago had been the look of someone who had destroyed something precious.

Sitting up in bed, suddenly Rose knew where she would find him. Dressing quickly in black trousers, a red tank top and a black jacket and her converses, she left the apartment quietly so as not to disturb Zach.

The early morning outside chilled her as she walked down the street to where she felt sure she would find the doctor.

20 minutes later, Rose was standing in a park looking up at an old marble monolith that had been erected in memory of the thousands of people who had died on the original island of Jersey when the ocean had swept in and laid waste to it nearly 200 hundred years ago.

The doctor had told her that survivors had floated adrift in the water for nearly a week before being rescued because when the natural disaster had occurred the world had been in the middle of WW5 and there simply hadn't been anyone to send to help.

Now Rose looked up at the writing that had been carved into the stone,

"En quelques périodes les plus foncées la lumière sera toujours trouvée par ceux qui la recherchent.".

"_What does it mean?" _Rose had asked. Without the TARDIS, Rose was no longer able to read or understand foreign languages.

"_In the darkest times light will always be found by those who search for it." _He had said solemnly.

"_No matter how advanced a civilization becomes there are just some things you have no control over."_

"_Whys it in French? They speak English in Jersey, don't they?"_

"_It's a testament to Jersey's heritage. Their native language is a mixture of English and French."_

"_It's beautiful."_ Rose had said as she looked at the names carved into the marble.

"_It is what it is."_ He had said simply.

The doctor had told her he had been there when the disaster happened, but that he hadn't been able to help. He had said that those who died were meant to die and not he nor anyone could do anything to alter fixed events in time. He had looked sad and regretful then.

Rose and the doctor had come back to this park many times since they had first arrived. It was peaceful and an air of calm seemed to lie over it like a blanket, especially now in the cold and dark of early morning where there wasn't even a breath of wind to disturb the trees. Nor could she see the doctor.

Sighing, Rose turned around to head back down the path, until she caught sight of the doctor sitting on a bench out of the way, looking down at his laced fingers, his elbows resting on his knees.

He didn't look up as she walked over to where he sat.

"I thought I might find you here." She said, sitting down next to him.

"Creature of habit, thats me." He said quietly.

The two of them sat like that, side by side at the minutes went by, not saying a word, neither knowing where to start.

Suddenly, Rose turned around and smacked the doctor hard on the arm.

"Ow!" He cried out, holding his hurt arm and looking at her in surprise.

"What was that for?!" He cried in indignation.

"Thats for running out on me!" Rose said with gritted teeth and then she hit him again.

"Ow!" He cried out again. "What did iI do this time?!" He whined, rubbing his now very sore arm.

"That one was for being an idiot!" She said forcefully and then she turned away from him, folded her arms and stared into the distance as the doctor continued to rub his arm.

"God, I dunno what it is about you Tyler women that makes you keep hitting me!" The doctor whined, dropping his hands in his lap.

"It's because you deserve it, and just be thankful my mum isn't here or she'd have your guts for garters! Scarperin' off like that." Rose finished, a hint of a smile playing at the side of her mouth as she remembered all the times her mum had slapped the doctor for one thing or another.

"I'm sorry." The doctor said quietly.

But Rose wasn't playing that game anymore. "Yeah? Whatcha sorry for now?" She said to him angrily.

"Running off on you." He said sincerely, looking at her while Rose steadfastly refused to look at him.

"So ya should be!" She said forcefully.

"No, really. I'm sorry." He said softly.

Rose turned to look at him, her eyes scrutinizing his face.

"Is that all you're sorry for?" She asked. She held her breath while he looked at her, waiting for his answer.

"No." He began. "I'm sorry for taking advantage of the situation, it wasn't fair-"

"Oh you bloody idiot!" Rose cut him off as she jumped to her feet and quickly started away from him back down the path, while the doctor looked after her, his face practically shouting out his confusion.

Jumping up from the bench he ran after her.

"What!?" He cried after her. "What else do you want me to apologise for?" He asked catching up to her. She refused to turn around or slow her pace.

"Rose!" He practically shouted as he grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face him.

"What do you want from me?" He said firmly, not letting go of her arm as she scowled up at him.

"I want you to not apologise to me!" She cried, pulling her arm from his grip.

The doctor tugged at his hair in frustration. "Then what do you want!?" He cried.

Rose backed away from him. "Forget it." She said, holding her hand up at him. "Just...just forget it yeah?" She said as she turned around and continued walking away from him.

The doctor just stood there, looking after her in anguish, torn between wanting to run after her and wanting to punch a wall several times. He watched her until he couldn't see her anymore.

xxx

The next morning, Rose woke up alone, the doctor nowhere to be found.

Almost mechanically, Rose got up and dressed for work. Walking into the living room she saw the crumpled bed sheets on the couch from where the doctor had clearly slept.

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Rose walked out the front door and headed off to work.


	9. Chapter 9 some things are better

A/N. Hey all, sorry for the long gap in updating, I've had a million and one things to do (half of which still aren't done). Thanks to all the people that have reviewed so far, it is muchly appreciated and I'm really happy to see so many of you have enjoyed the story enough to add it (or me) to your favorites and alert lists! :D I hope this chappy won't disappoint. Cookies to those who spot all the S2 episode references.

**Chapter 9. Some things are better.**

It had been four days since the morning in the park and neither the Doctor or Rose had so much as seen the other, which was impressive considering the apartment they shared was not big. Rose suspected that the doctor was pulling long nights at the laboratory so that she would already be asleep by the time he got home. Once, Rose had seen the door to the flat slam just as she was leaving the bedroom in the morning. But that was it.

Rose went about her new life like in a dream. She got up in the mornings, went to work, came home, went to bed and then started it all over again. But there was always a time as she was laying in bed, waiting for sleep, where she would think about going to sit on the sofa to wait for him to come home. But then she would remember that she was angry and hurt, rejected and confused.

And then it happened. On the fourth morning, Rose was at work listening to one of the other girls lamenting about her ex-boyfriend moving out of their house and how she couldn't afford to make rent on her own.

Suddenly Rose turned around and said, "Actually, I'm looking for a place to stay if you're interested?"

The other girl had looked slightly stunned as Rose had never been very forthcoming with her before. The girl, who was called Leanna, suddenly squealed, her stunned expression turning quickly into one of delight.

"Oh thank you so much Rosie!! Oh wow, you've totally saved my skin!! I couldn't bear it if I had to move back in with my old mum!" She scooped Rose up into a tight hug before dragging her into an awkward sort of waltz around the shop.

"Oh my god, we're gonna have so much fun!" Leanna squealed again before releasing Rose to go tidy some clothes displayed on a shelf.

"Yeah." Rose simply said, forcing herself to look as pleased as the other girl did.

It had been as easy as that.

**6 Hours Later...**

"You sure about this?" Zach said quietly, concern showing plainly on his face.

"I mean, whatever it is with the doctor an' you, aint this a bit drastic?" He said, setting a cup of tea down on the table in front of Rose.

"Gotta start out somewhere and I don't need the doctor to hold my hand no more." She said, looking into her mug as though it held some great truth somehow.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"No buts, Zach." Rose said forcefully, interrupting Zach. "Me an' the doctor...I dunno, it's like claustrophobia or somethin'. An' since we're stuck here I might as well make a go of it, yeah?"

"You gonna tell him or what?" Zach said as he sat down at the table opposite Rose.

"Yeah, course." She said, somewhat unconvincingly. Zach just looked at her until the door buzzer sounded. Hurriedly, Rose got up to answer it to find Leanna outside.

"Hi!" She said cheerfully, following Rose into the apartment."You ready to go? I've got the car parked downstairs." She said.

"Yeah," Rose said, "Tell ya what, if you take those couple bags down, I'll grab the rest and I'll meet you down there once I've said goodbye." Rose said, indicating towards Zach who was still sitting at the table.

"Sure." Leanna said good-naturedly as she picked up the two black bags by the front door and then made her way out of the apartment.

Rose sighed and sat back down at the table to take a sip of the now luke-warm tea.

"Rose..." Zach began.

"Don't Zach. I've made up my mind." She said slowly.

"No." Zach said. "Behind you." He said, pointing with the hand that still held his mug.

Rose turned around in her chair to see the doctor standing in the doorway looking down at the black bags there.

"You're leaving." He said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah." She said.

"I've err got...stuff...to do." Zach said awkwardly as he got up quickly and left the room, giving them the space they needed. Rose wasn't sure that she wanted Zach to leave, she didn't think she was ready for any sort of confrontation with the doctor. But she knew she would have had to have had this conversation at some point. Might as well get it over with.

"Look, Doctor, it's for the best. I mean, had to happen at some point didn't it?" She said plainly.

"Did it?" The doctor said quietly, looking at her sadly. Rose looked away. In all truthfulness, Rose had never anticipated this day. The plan was for them to be together forever. They hadn't parted over Bad Wolf, daleks hadn't been able to keep them apart, they had even faced down the devil, but this was a new kind of adversity that couldn't be conquered so easily. With no magic blue box or clever words or proclamations. It simply wasn't as easily as all that.

"I have to have a life, doctor. If this is my new life, then I have to go out and start living it. I have to make something of myself. I can't just be the little human that follows you around. Your 'companion'. I have to be Rose Tyler, cos what else have I got? You tell me, doctor, what else have I got?" She asked.

"What about me?" He said. His face betraying his hurt.

"You never needed me doctor. You were always the one saving me, not the other way around. But not this time. I don't need you to save me now, I need to save myself. I'll go mad, I swear I will. You're not stuck with me anymore, doctor. I can live my own life and maybe I can, I dunno, "she threw her arms up in the air, "go back to school or something. I just wanna be normal!" She finished, a finality in her voice.

"You never used to want normal." The doctor said, hands in his pockets as he looked at her. His eyes radiating his hurt and sadness but also guilt.

"Yeah well there was a lot of things I never wanted, but we're still here aren't we?" She said, with more fierceness than she intended. But she didn't back down, though she regretted her words when she saw the pain they caused the doctor. She never blamed the doctor for this, but right then she felt her own pain to much to care that her words might cause him some.

"Don't do this." He said, his voice betraying grief, with an air of desperation.

"It's too late." She said quietly.

With that she moved towards him to grab the remaining bags that were by the door. The doctor -just for a moment- seemed to want to reach out and touch her, but he didn't.

Picking up her bags, Rose stood by the door for a moment, she seemed to want to say something further, something important, but instead all she said was, "Goodbye doctor." Her words were not the forceful words of earlier, they were sad. Her eyes shone with tears that she refused to shed. And then she walked out the door and away from him, only then would she allow the tears to fall and even those were silent. She vowed that she would not break over him again.

The doctor watched her leave and only when he couldn't hear her footfalls any more did he seem to breathe. He lowered his head slowly, his hands curled into fists at his sides. But he would not give in to his emotion so he swallowed it instead. She had every right and more to be angry at him. He had always known how Rose felt, had always seen it. But what he hadn't accounted for was the way that he had felt, still felt. It was only when he had come close to losing her that he understood his feelings and they scared him. He, the Doctor, was scared by his weakness for someone who would live and die in the blink of an eye compared to the lives of his people. That was why he had never reached out to her before. He didn't think that he could stand to watch her wither and die while he continued on, never stopping and always alone.

She thought she mattered so little to him but she was wrong. She meant everything to him and that was why he would not jeopardize their relationship. Everyone and everything he had ever loved was dead and gone and there was nothing he could do about it. He could not watch her fade away.

Better to cherish their friendship and not get in so deep that he couldn't find his way out again.


	10. Chapter 10 A whole new world?

A/N. I could apologize a gazillion times for this chapter being so late, but realistically I can't, so I'm just gonna have to hope you forgive me and that you haven't given up on me or this story, believe me, I haven't! I really loved writing this chappy and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! - DR.

**Chapter 10: A Whole New World...?**

_Rose._

Living with Leanna was just what Rose had expected it to be like: Noisy, busy, girly and intrusive. Leanna had a way of walking into a spotless room and leaving it five minutes later looking like a herd of wild pigs had paraded through it. Something that irritated Rose no end! It seemed to Rose that she was forever picking up dirty mugs and wiping tea stains off surfaces. But to Leanna's credit, the girl was a gem and Rose had actually begun to enjoy spending time with her. Especially when she went off on one of her 'anti-men' rants where she would parade around the house in her underwear, dancing and singing along to girl-power songs like 'Respect' by Aretha Franklin (which Rose was delighted to discover had survived through the ages as a female anthem). It was at these times where Rose could finally let go and happily give in to her hurt emotions and join in with Leanna.

She had briefly told Leanna why she moved out and was moved when Leanna didn't pry but instead offered her a large glass of wine and a shoulder. Rose felt she had deeply mis-judged Leanna when she assumed for so long that she was simply a frilly sort of girl with no real depth. She was happy to be proved wrong this time.

Finally Rose felt she was living a life instead of going through the motions. Her new life was certainly made easier without having the distraction of the Doctor in her life. Before, Rose had little to look forward to except seeing the doctor every day. Now she found she had a whole new world to explore! Leanna very much loved letting her hair down as often as possible and she and Rose would often go out for a night dancing, drinking and socialising, or they would just stay in with a bottle of wine watching some slushy rom-coms and giggling. Rose had never anticipated that she would genuinely get to like this new life of hers, but she did.

Now, 6 weeks since she had left Zach's apartment and last seen the doctor, Rose was fitting into her role in the world and finding it comfortable and familiar. Life wasn't so very different here than back in 2006. Granted, the dishes were a little easier to tackle and hangovers could be cured within seconds with a simple pill, but past that life was as it always had been for Rose. It was in no way comparable to the life she had led with the doctor but it was a life just the same.

At first, Rose would barely speak or join Leanna when she went out, but after a drunken night on the sofa with a few large glasses of wine Rose had opened up to Leanna and told her of the 'will-we-won't-we' relationship she had had with the doctor. Since then the pair of them had become fast friends and Rose was glad to have such a good companion.

Rose wouldn't have called herself 'happy', but she felt that she could be content, given time.

_The Doctor._

To say that the doctor was unhappy would be somewhat of a conundrum as he himself would have described himself as being neither happy nor unhappy. He was coping.

The doctor had fully immersed himself in his work, which drew him not a small amount of disgruntled colleagues who be-grudged his constant praise and admiration from bosses. But if the doctor cared, he didn't show it.

He, unlike Rose, did not go out with his colleagues or confide in a particular friend. What he actually did was to simply exist, go about his day and then go home. There was nothing special about his life or how he spent his time, there seemed to be nothing that entertained him or engaged him. It was almost if he didn't exist on the same plain of existence as other people. But if he was honest, the Doctor preferred this because then he could pretend that he didn't feel or hurt like other people did.

But, and there is always a but, the doctor felt broken. It was as if something inside him had simply given up and faded away. His being felt heavy and disconnected. He couldn't remember the last time that he had smiled or had looked forward to something.

But then these things can't last, for one reason or another. That night, the same night that Rose had decided she could one day be content, Zach had found the doctor sitting at the dining table in the dark, cradling a stone-cold cup of tea. He looked like he had been there for hours like that, just sitting, unmoving.

"Comon mate. You've gotta snap outta this." Zach had said, slipping into the seat opposite the doctor.

"Hmm? What?" The doctor had said, looking up and slightly surprised to see the lights now on and Zach sitting there.

"This slump of yours. You've gotta do something about it! Either go an' get her, or...I'm sorry 'bout this but...suck it up and get over it!" Zach said this last slightly louder than necessary and looked appropriately embarrassed.

"Yeah you're right. Course."The doctor said simply without conviction, looking down.

Zach sighed and tried again, " Look mate, Rose is gone. I'm sorry, but thats the way it is. She left so she can have a life. What are you doin'? Mopin' around with a face like a smacked arse. Now, I'm tellin' ya, either you do somethin' 'bout it or pretty soon you're gonna break down. One day you're gonna just stop and not start again." The doctor said nothing. Silently he got up from the table and paced for a few steps. His steps suddenly become quicker, his circular pacing became almost frenzied.

Suddenly, "Alright, you've got all the answers, what do YOU think I should do then!?" He demanded loudly, almost angrily. Zach was taken aback but held his ground as he stood up to face the doctor, whose face was scrunched up in an expression of pain and confusion.

"Answer me this, doctor. Do you love her?"

"What?!" The doctor asked, his face defensive

"You heard me." Zach said plainly, crossing his arms over his chest

"Shes my best friend." The doctor said, equally plainly.

"Thats not what I meant an' you know it!" Zach said accusingly.

"Thats all she ever can be! You don't understand!" The doctor cried out, his voice rising in volume as he went back to his angry strides across the room and back again.

"Oh don't give me that!" Now Zach was almost shouting as well. "You're a bloody coward you are! Maybe you're right, maybe I don't understand, but I'm not sodding blind! I've seen the way you an' her look when you're together! The way you look at each other! For all your smarts, doctor, you're a bloody idiot!" Zach was shouting now and pointing his finger at the doctor as he threw his accusations at the him. The doctor looked shocked at Zach's outburst, but he didn't give in so Zach continued, "I don't know anything about you doctor, I've noticed the way you keep things close to your chest and if this is the way you act towards Rose then no bloody wonder she got sick an' tired of trying to get close to you! But you know what else I noticed when you weren't payin' any attention, eh? I noticed the way Rose sometimes looked sad when you weren't looking, because you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself an' not busy wondering how SHE felt!"

"I DID bloody care!" The doctor suddenly shouted out, abruptly stopping to turn on Zach angrily. "I cared every single day how she felt! It's all I cared about! It's my fault, MINE, that shes trapped here! D'ya have ANY idea what thats doing to me?!" He finished loudly.

"No! I damn well don't because you never say anything! To me OR to her!" Zach said sharply, squaring up to the doctor and looking him plain in the eye.

"Tell me this doctor; did you ever stop to consider, just once, that Rose would have been happy to be here if only you would have given her a reason to be happy here?" He said plainly. The doctor looked away.

"No. I didn't think so. You say you cared what Rose felt, but what you mean is that because you weren't happy you assumed that she wasn't either. Maybe if you'd spent more time listening to her instead of guilt-tripping yourself you woulda noticed that all she wanted was you to be happy. Here. With her." Zach finished quietly. He knew he had made his point and didn't think he could get away with saying anything more to the doctor. Zach was just about to walk out of the room and leave the now silent doctor to his thoughts when suddenly he heard him say something so quietly that he couldn't make it out.

"What was that?" Zach asked.

"You're right." The doctor repeated.

"Well, yeah." Zach said uncertainly.

"No, seriously, you're right!" The doctor said, straighting up and running one hand through his hair, a dazed look on his face. He sounded almost as confused as he looked. Zach simply stared, actually quite surprised he'd managed to get through to the doctor.

"Alright," Zach said, "Now what?" He asked.

"I dunno." The doctor admitted. "But it's gonna be big." He said, a cheeky grin breaking out over his face for the first time in nearly 2 months.

And with that, the doctor sped across the room, grabbing his coat from the chair as he went, crossed to the door, wiggled his eyebrows at Zach as he opened it, and disappeared through it.


	11. Chapter 11 The oncoming storm changes

A/N. Wow, this story is already about 2 chappys longer than I originally intended it to be! These two will just NOT see eye on eye and insist on making it difficult for themselves (and me! ;)! I just had to write a quick thank you to all those wonderful people who have diligently stayed with this story, and those gorgeous people who have written the most encouraging reviews (you know who you are). This story is for all you guys, but this chappy is especially for those that take the time to make my day by being so supportive :D

DR.

**Chapter 11. The Oncoming Storm Changes Direction.**

The doctor was running. By god, was he running! He was weaving his way through the late night crowds of people that crowded the pavements, who looked at him strangely as he pushed his way past them, but he didn't notice, all he could think of was getting to Rose as fast as his feet could take him. He wished that he had nicked Hermes' winged birkenstocks that time he'd cornered him in ancient Greece (cheeky little Denovian that was parading around pretending to be the messenger of the Gods).

He felt his hearts pounding with the pace he was putting them through as well as the excitement coursing through his veins. He had only one thought in his head and that was of getting to Rose as quickly as he could, past that he'd have to play it by ear. Over and over he was cursing his stupidity. What had he been playing at?! If his life had been a TV drama played out to millions of people every week he felt certain that the viewers would have been shouting at the tele in annoyance at him! Complications, variables, morals and apprehension were well and truly being pushed out the window with this one and for once, he was happy to break his rules.

His feet barely touching the pavement, he rounded the corner onto the road were Rose shared a house with the other girl, Leanne? Leanna? He didn't know and right now didn't much care. Suddenly, he pulled up short. There she was. Standing outside her front door and looking off into the distance, unaware that the doctor stood less than 50ft away. A grin broke out over his face as he looked at her. She looked good, dressed casually in jeans and a blue short-sleeved top, her hair in French braids either side of her face. To him, she looked perfect, and not just 'for a human'.

This was it: he took a deep breath before moving towards her, only to stop short as he saw another figure approach Rose. A man, maybe late-twenties. It was obvious that Rose had been waiting for this man as when he came close to her she moved forward and wrapped her arms around him in what looked like a familiar movement to the both of them.

Jealousy stabbed through the doctor, a vicious pain in his chest that made him gasp for air and almost bent him over double. He grabbed the railing to his left and gripped it hard, the metal cutting into his skin sharply, but he didn't notice. All he could see was the tender act between the two lovers, all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, all he could feel with a red-hot slice of pain under every inch of his skin. His hearts beat faster in his chest and his eyes narrowed in pain and jealousy.

A primal urge he had never before felt demanded that he go over there and punch that other man hard in the face, grab Rose and sling her over his shoulder and carry her off. He almost did just that, so much as to actually take a step forward and clench his fist until he could feel his nails break the skin of his palm. A flash of the Oncoming Storm shone in his eyes for a fraction of a second. But then he caught himself as he saw what he was about to do. Then it was as if his lungs collapsed, the air and rage that had built up inside the doctor was suddenly sucked out of him and was replaced with a feeling so hollow that it made a mockery of the emptiness that he had been feeling since Rose had left all those weeks ago.

While he had been, as Zach said; moping around, Rose had gone out and done what she had said she was going to do: she had gotten a life and by the looks of it, someone to love. Hurt and broken though he was, the doctor would never allow himself to interfere with something like that. He was responsible for Rose losing the life she had had, he would not be responsible for meddling in her life again like that.

Although his entire being begged to go to Rose, he willed himself to silently turn around and walk away.

Rose felt something in the air, almost like an electrical sort of tingle. A fission of energy went through her that she couldn't explain. Letting go of Matt, she looked around the street just in time to see what looked like the bottom of a tan trench coat turn the corner and disappear. Rose's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Hey, you alright?" Matt's voice broke through her reverie.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just-" She stopped.

"I dunno, I guess I imagined it." She said, half to herself.

"Imagined what?" Matt asked as he looked in the direction Rose's eyes were concentrated.

"Nothing." Rose said dismissively. "It's not important."

"Can I come inside?" Matt asked, looking intensely at Rose. Rose returned his gaze levelly and said "Yeah. Leanna won't be back for another couple of hours so it should be ok."

And with that Rose led Matt into the house she shared and closed the door, not looking back.

**5 Hours Later...**

The doctor walked into the apartment to find Zach slumped on the sofa reading what looked like a list of mechanical schematics. When Zach saw the doctor walking in he jumped to his feet. But then he caught sight of the doctors defeated expression.

"Mate?" Zach asked tentatively. "Where've you been?" The doctor had been gone for longer than was necessary, but Zach had assumed that was a good thing. Now, looking at the doctors face and slumped posture, he assumed otherwise.

"Oh, y'know. Out and about, that's me, an out and about sort of person." The doctor said without conviction or any real idea of what he was saying.

"Doctor.." Zach started hesitantly. "Have you been drinking?" Zach asked in surprised. In all the time he had known and lived with the doctor, he had never known him to so much as grab a beer from the fridge, let alone go out and get plastered.

The doctor looked at Zach blearily, leaning his head back and squinting to keep him in focus.

"I might have had one." He started, "Weeell, maybe more than one, well, a couple dozen. But they were all as good as each other. Seemed a shame to not experience all of them!" He declared suddenly, sweeping his arm up and narrowly missing smacking Zach in the head.

"Experience all of what?" Zach asked as he tried to ignore the smell of alcohol that the doctor was breathing all over him.

"Shots! Did you know," the doctor was now prodding Zach in the chest quite vigorously, "that they have 8 different kinds of tequila? EIGHT! Isn't that amazing?" The doctor said, grinning. "You humans, always thinking up these brilliant little schemes to keep yourselves amused. Y'know," Again he started prodding Zach who was trying his hardest not to flinch in pain, "back when you were all Apes, you used to do the same! Except you'd find different uses for sticks! You'd be waving them around, trying to prod things, like wee furry...apes with swords!" The doctor finished, obviously very impressed with himself and his story. Zach, despite the otherwise hilarity of the situation, was not impressed. His expression was one of concern for his friend. Obviously the meeting with Rose had not gone to plan unless Rose was passed out outside the front door in a drunken stupor, which Zach doubted.

"Comon mate, come have a cup of tea. Sit yourself down and lets try and sober you up a bit, shall we?" Zach said in his most soothing voice as he tried to usher the doctor to take a seat at the kitchen table.

"No!" The doctor suddenly cried out forcefully, yanking his arm out of Zach's grip.

"What makes you think I want to be sober right now? I'm having quite a good time being drunk, thank you very much! And actually, actually," the doctor stammered, again now pointing at Zach, but mercifully not prodding him, "You upright apes invented the stuff, so I reckon I'm doing my explorer-y duty by sampling it! Dontcha reckon?" He finished and hiccuped loudly.

"Sampling it?" Zach began, "Mate, by the sounds of it you did a bit more than sample it! Now come on, sit down and tell me what happened." This time Zach managed to shimmy the doctor into a seat at the table.

"Whats there to say?" The doctor said blearily, putting his chin in his hand. "I went there, I saw her. And her new...bloke." The doctor said this last like it had a bad taste, his lip curling in disgust.

"Her new what?" Zach asked, caught off guard as he turned the kettle on.

"Man, male, y'know, one of you lot!" The doctor waved his hand vaguely in Zach's direction.

"Ahhh." Zach said softly. That would certainly explain it.

" I just-"the doctor started, "I just...I don't know. I want her to be happy, i do, i really do but...if I thought that she would have just jumped ship like this I would have...forbidden her to leave." The doctor finished loudly.

Zach snorted. "And done what? Chained her to the bed?" He said. The doctor looked up at him, his eyes narrowed. Zach quickly looked away and busied himself with pouring the tea.

"Look mate, I'm sorry but it wasn't as if this was all that unlikely. You said it yourself, you just wanted her to be happy, yeah? Well maybe now she is. Surely thats better than nothing." Zach had the tone of someone who was trying to placate a man on a roof into not jumping; an almost pleading edge to his voice.

The doctor didn't respond. It seemed as if he no longer had the energy, all the life had gone from his eyes. Without a word he silently put his head down onto his arms, his shoulders slumping. Zach almost thought he had gone to sleep until he heard something that sounded like a quiet sob. He wasn't sure he hadn't imagined it as he looked over at the doctor's motionless form until he heard it again, this time he saw the doctors shoulders move. The sound and movement became more consistent and Zach realized that the doctor was quietly sobbing.

Zach sighed and went to move beside him and put one arm around the doctors heaving shoulders.

"Hey, it's ok. Well, maybe it's not now, but it will be." Zach didn't know what else to say. He had never seen the doctor like this. This weakness was wholly uncharacteristic and Zach didn't know how to handle it. But his heart went out to the man. He was clearly heart-broken, alcohol or no.

When the doctor didn't respond at all to Zach's attempt at comfort, he figured it was probably best to just let him cry it out and get it out of his system.

Zach started as he heard a knock at the front door. He looked across at the doctor but he hadn't seemed to have noticed. He had stopped crying some time ago and Zach wondered if he had finally drifted off to sleep.

Silently, Zach got up from the table. He had a sneaky feeling he knew who he would find on the other side of the door. It was 3am and unless Jehovah had introduced a new timetable there was only one person it could realistically be.

Opening the door quietly, so as not to wake the doctor, he found his suspicions confirmed as there stood Rose.

"Hi Zach." Rose said quietly.

"Rose." Zach inclined his head to her.

"Where is he?" She said, she didn't need to say who she meant. It was clear from her voice that she would not be deterred, even if he told her that the doctor was in no fit state to see anybody, let alone her. So instead he opened the door wider to let her in.

Rose suddenly crinkled her nose as the alcoholic smell hit her. She looked across at Zach only to find him giving her an apologetic look, as if he could read her mind. He then silently pointed across to the table, where the doctor was still slumped over, unmoving and not making a sound.

Rose moved across the room to stand above the doctor.

As if knowing she was there, the doctor started and slowly looked up at her.

"Rose?" He said, a note of hope in his voice. Suddenly he stood up, if somewhat shakily, and ran a hand through his hair nervously. His hearts beat furiously in his chest, so loud that he felt sure that she would be able to hear them. His nervous excitement wasn't helped by the fact that he was still pretty intoxicated, but he hoped that he wasn't acting too drunk. He was just so happy to see her.

And then, without any warning showing on her impassive face, Rose slapped the doctor so hard around the face that the all-resounding sound made Zach grimace from across the room.

The doctor grabbed the chair to steady himself with one hand whilst rubbing his hurt cheek with the other, looking at Rose in confusion. Rose met his gaze levelly, but her eyes betrayed her hurt and confusion, but most of all her anger, an anger that seemed unreasonably directed at the doctor.


End file.
